its been awhile

wow! its been awhile since I last posted something here.
I really wasn't feeling great.
emotionally and health-wise.
Guess I haven't really been myself, then again...

..what is being myself?

Been working alot to keep me busy.
Doing something makes you look less crazy. Sane i suppose.
haha;;

For lunch I had Mcdonalds.
had a happymeal!!>_<> < haven't had that in awhile. quite funny..


I got a toy.

its an asian elephant.
heehee

Gotta start reviving my blog.
wonder if anyones actually reads them?
hm...
something to think about i guess.

had a brilliant idea of posting nailart tutorials and makeup reviews.
been having so much fun doing my nails and buying new makeup.

LOL

Hope then people will read some of my posts..

theres been some earthquakes here in Christchurch, NewZealand.
it started on the 4th September 2010, 4:45am.
man... that one was huge!!!(7.4) so scary..
since then theres been a few more. the highest i think so far was 5.8
not too sure.

some photos of what has happened at my aunts place.
Dallington.
this is where the earthquake started
so...
yeah,...
this place had it hard.
pipe leaks... saw a few holes on the ground with a 5cm fountain.
they hadn't had electricity for a few hours that day.. and yeah... guess they're ok now.

been feeling little shakes here and then.
just felt like 3 big ones on the last hour.
starting to get annoyed...
can't go into town cause they don't know when some of the buildings might collapse.

hope this will all end soon...

new foundation brush

bought myself a new foundation brush.

The brush is from 'the Bodyshop'.

the handles pretty good. Its slim and very easy to hold on to.

the brush itself is also good. the bristtles are soft, yet firm.

it slides on my makeup easily.

the bristtles move with the contours of the face, making it an 'all even apply'.

one thing bad about the brush is that, it should be washed frequently as the bristtles

split making the makeup go inside abit instead of going on my face.

overall though, this brush is great to use for makeup beginners especially.

The price isn't that dare, so for those wanting to try brushes i'll recommend this one

before going out and buying expensive ones.

trust?

if everyone don't keep their word,

who am i to trust?

the people that i been with, for my whole life..

yes, my parents.

i listen and want to believe what they tell me..

but...

how am i to do that when they don't keep their word on anything?

and they say i'm the bad one for not keeping my promises.

ha!

do they seriously expect me to believe in what they tell me?

a life well lived, a goodbye

for some moments in life... there are no words..

-David Seltzer-

you don't realise

how important life is

and

how important a relationship is

until something bad happens to you or to someone you know.

no matter how

big or small,

good or bad,

near or far,

long or short,

until that very moment you hear the news,

you don't realise that life is short

and that time was either well used or wasted.

you begin to wonder,

how you could've used that time instead.

you realise you could've spent the time to get to know yourself

so that you will learn to love yourself.

you realise you could've used that time to get to know abit more of that person better

...

then maybe.. just maybe...

i wouldn't be sitting here wondering...

what if i was there for myself? for you?

would things be the same as now?

may you rest in peace and may God take you in his arms

sorry seems to be the hardest word

ok...

so i've been sitting in front of the computer for a few hours now...

munching on 'Rashunks' and drinking a can of 'Diet coke'.

(i think i've gained a few... T_T)

so... uh...

my brothers back and running on blog,

http://mkseo1992.blogspot.com/

if you wanna check it out.

just abit annoyed at my boyfriend at the moment.

this is his last week on TESOL you see...

so this weeks been abit full on with planning his last lesson and doing a 5hour lesson plan.

his final 1hour lesson is tomorrow,

bless him for trying hard...
i said i would help though not like this!!!

he asked me to write an essay for him as he is so lagging behind with homework and stuff.

i agreed since he had the basic blueprints and all i had to do was edit that abit and make it into a final essay. when i agreed, i told him that he should try to write his own next time and i would have a read through it before he hands it in.

not again?

his final 500word essay,

(is a 500word essay even a essay???)

he asked me to do it as he still hasn't started his 5hour lesson plan which is due tomorrow.

grrr

he spent all day yesterday and today to finish a 1hour lesson plan!!!

gosh!!!
im so annoyed.

...and silly enough i agreed though not in a happy mode.

when he chatted me that he was going to bed, so that his sleepyness wont affect the way he teaches, he asked me to send the final to his email.

i gave him a computer gleer '-_-' and said ok.
he said he was thankful and that he loved me, goodnight.....

i said, arent you the tiniest bit sorry? thankyou is great, but a sorry would be better.

in a jokingly way, and said 'goodnight, love you too'

he goes offline after a few 'goodnight, love you's'

i text him, really? arent you at least a tiny bit sorry?????? -_-(gleer)

he replies, sorry... enough? goodnight.

not cool man... not cool....

maybe it was the mood i was in, that made me read that sentence really strongly...

still...

im abit upset.

hm,...

i really do wish him well for tomorrow...

though... i wish he would try himself before i asks you know?

*sigh*

better start on that essay if i want to sleep...

diet coke

whilst drinking my can of diet coke,
im sitting here in front of the computer
wondering
.....
wondering about everything.
wonder turns to worry
.....
i worry too much, thats my problem.

why can't life be as easy as drinking diet coke?
all the good taste, just without the sugar?
(does that even make sense?)

at the moment, im not liking my life.
just hoping for the best right now...
hoping that this is just a rough patch and will soon get better.
hoping that this is just a turning point in my life and when i turn the corner the sun will shine.
hoping that this is just a mountain or a hill that i need to climb in order to reach the green meadow below.
hoping that everything will be alright and that when i wake up tomorrow everything will be as the dreams that i dream every night.

just hoping...
hope... never lose that...
i think hope is the only thing that makes people in this world sane.
hope is the only thing that makes you live for tomorrow.
hope is the only thing that makes us dream and thrive for a better tomorrow.
hope is the only thing that makes us sleep alittle better tonight.
hope is the only thing that keeps the world just alittle better.

though hope was the only thing kept locked in Pandora's box,
hope can really keep us dreamers alive.

hope...

we all hope for the best,
though, when is that day ever gonna come?
we will never know however keep the hope alive.
keeping the hope alive will keep our dreams safe so that we can have a better tomorrow.

as i hope for a better sleep tonight, i drink my can of diet coke.
this drink has saved yet again, my thirst.
i'm thirsty though not the drink kind of thirsty.
i guess i'm just thirsty for a better turn point in my life.
no diet coke can help that...
hope.. lets hope that my hopes and dreams will be that essense that will keep my thirsty level down...

fingers crossed...

want to get away...

hm..

haven't blogged much aye...

don't even tweet much either.

guess im trying to keep myself hidden,

though i dont know why?

started working

>_<

at a restaurant called Sura at CHCH

not that hard though kinda confusing

...

im just not liking what i do much these days...

i don't really like going to church.

*GASP*

i know...

i used to really like going for some reason.

and even on those days that i didn't really feel like going,

i found myself going anyways.

now...

its just...

too much for me i think...

volunteering as a sunday school teacher wasn't at all that bad,

though some people are just hard to understand still...

kinda annoying how, those that are suppose to be the role models to the kids

are just simply... more childish.

those people that are suppose to be the 'lamb of God'

are the ones hunting down others like they're some wolves hungry to eat.

don't really want to go to church this week.

the other teachers made some kind of deal cause i've been kinda late these past few days.

the deal is, everytime your late or absent for whatever reasons, you have to give $5.

seriously.

WTF

this doesn't feel like church at all.

feels more like some kind of scam.

can't wait to get out of THAT mess.

sooo going to Korea this July.

let THEM figure out the mess for themselves.

seriously, i don't know why im even a Sunday school teacher now.

I love the kids, but the other teachers i work with...

some say things like : "the sunday schools going down soon", "what happened to your plan of bringing down sunday school", "i don't want to do it, you do it", "i don't have the time(and goes out drinking)", "i want to go home, hurry up"...etc

why would you start being a teacher when all you think about is the next gathering and drinking, judging the way a student looks, complaining, tries everything so that the next assignment won't come to them and hard out swear at the person who does volunteer for it.

why? why? WHY?

i can't even look at the childrens eyes now cause of these feelings that i have.

i just want to get away from those people...